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TDTAT
Posts: 109270
Joined: Mar 11, 2006 7:06 pm
Posted: Jun 04, 2012 10:58 am
NoLuckNeeded.com's Best Jokes Contest to Win a $50 Prize
This Contest is free for all No Luck Needed members. Not a member?
join for free today.
Contest Closed. Congrats to ll527ws & brunett
NoLuckNeeded.com's Best Jokes Contest to Win $50
Post your Best Jokes to enter the contest.
This contest closes August 15th, 2012
The contest prize is USD and paid by amazon.com gift card.
Prowan52
Posts: 1328
Joined: Sep 28, 2007 11:10 pm
Posted: Jun 04, 2012 5:16 pm
Confucius say, "Man who put head on railroad track to listen for train likely to end up with splitting headache."
TDTAT
Posts: 109270
Joined: Mar 11, 2006 7:06 pm
Posted: Jun 04, 2012 7:20 pm
Prowan52,
tdkbeg
Posts: 240
Joined: Dec 20, 2008 7:30 am
Posted: Jun 04, 2012 8:42 pm
MY MOMMY THE DANCER
One day a fourth-grade teacher asked the children what their mothers did for a living.
All the typical answers came up - teacher, nurse, businesswoman, saleswoman, doctor, lawyer, and so forth.
However, little Justin was being uncharacteristically quiet, so when the teacher prodded him about his mother, he replied, "Well my mother's an exotic dancer in a cabaret and takes off all her clothes in front of men and they put money in her underwear. Sometimes, if the offer is really good, she will go home with some guy and stay with him all night for money."
The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other children to work on some exercises and then took little Justin aside to ask him, "Is that really true about your mother?"
"No," the boy said, "She works for the Democratic National Committee and is helping to get Hillary Clinton to be our next President, but I was too embarrassed to say that in front of the other kids."
tdkbeg
TDTAT
Posts: 109270
Joined: Mar 11, 2006 7:06 pm
Posted: Jun 05, 2012 8:57 am
This makes me laugh everytime!
webdeb
Posts: 1601
Joined: Aug 30, 2007 3:17 pm
Posted: Jun 05, 2012 3:52 pm
I think I'll put one of these up in my backyard
TDTAT
Posts: 109270
Joined: Mar 11, 2006 7:06 pm
Posted: Jun 05, 2012 6:22 pm
webdeb, Good one!
TDTAT
Posts: 109270
Joined: Mar 11, 2006 7:06 pm
Posted: Jun 05, 2012 9:24 pm
Click Here for NoLuckNeeded.com's
collection of online gambling and online poker cartoons.
grdn39
Posts: 103
Joined: May 31, 2008 6:05 pm
Posted: Jun 06, 2012 2:05 am
what do you call a 500 pound girl on a bar stool with a condom in her pocket ?
a half ton pick up with a box liner
beavo040
Posts: 48
Joined: Aug 22, 2009 3:21 am
Posted: Jun 06, 2012 8:47 am
What's the difference between an onion and a hooker?
I don't cry when I cut a hooker.
brunett
Posts: 1487
Joined: Oct 04, 2004 11:39 am
Posted: Jun 06, 2012 10:12 am
Q? WHAT DID THE SIGN ON THE WHOEHOUSE SAY? ANSWER! BEAT IT!! WERE CLOSED.
yes my 2 daughters i love them very much
TDTAT
Posts: 109270
Joined: Mar 11, 2006 7:06 pm
Posted: Jun 06, 2012 11:53 pm
Life Lesson: Never argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
brunett
Posts: 1487
Joined: Oct 04, 2004 11:39 am
Posted: Jun 07, 2012 12:22 am
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail? one great throught!!
yes my 2 daughters i love them very much
maskedmascot
Posts: 3
Joined: Dec 28, 2011 12:13 pm
Posted: Jun 07, 2012 11:31 am
what did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
"are u sure its mine???"
what do u call a blonde w/a runny nose?
FULL!!!!!!!!
what did the blondes right leg say 2 the left leg?
nothing they nevewr met
What does the blonde say after having multiple orgasms?
WAY TO GO TEAM!!!!!!!!
why does a blonde insist on him wearing a condom?
so she can have a doggy bag 4 later
how do u get a sweet 80yr old woman 2 say the F-word?
get another sweet 80yr old woman 2 yell "BINGO"
TDTAT
Posts: 109270
Joined: Mar 11, 2006 7:06 pm
Posted: Jun 08, 2012 10:53 pm
People with narrow minds usually have broad tongues.
