Welcome to the NoLuckNeeded.com Contest Corner! We give away hundreds of dollars, euros, and pounds every month and all you have to do to participate is post a message in the contest threads below. Don't be shy, we're friendly! If you are not a member, join today for free.
Winning quote: Well behaved women rarely make history.
TDTAT
Posts: 109275
Joined: Mar 11, 2006 7:06 pm
Posted: Apr 19, 2009 10:38 pm
This is funny, but more than one line
ops:
TDTAT:
gonecamping2
Posts: 3667
Joined: Aug 11, 2006 7:32 pm
Posted: Apr 19, 2009 10:47 pm
I know I laughed when I read it.
You are toooooooooooo funny.
TDTAT
Posts: 109275
Joined: Mar 11, 2006 7:06 pm
Posted: Apr 20, 2009 1:50 am
Q.
What happens when your Dad is a paranoid schizophrenia
and your Mom is an acoholic?
A. The voices in your head are slurred.
My own little creation
TDTAT
Posts: 109275
Joined: Mar 11, 2006 7:06 pm
Posted: Apr 20, 2009 12:30 pm
gonecamping2, LOL!!!!
I like that we are not responsible for what I may say!
TDTAT
Posts: 109275
Joined: Mar 11, 2006 7:06 pm
Posted: Apr 20, 2009 1:45 pm
"Nothing is more destructive of respect for the government and the law ofthe land than passing laws which cannot be enforced."
Albert Einstein
codyman
Posts: 1450
Joined: Mar 16, 2006 11:56 am
Posted: Apr 20, 2009 2:02 pm
TDTAT:
"Nothing is more destructive of respect for the government and the law ofthe land than passing laws which cannot be enforced."
Albert Einstein
AMEN!!!
Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers
LadyLucky
Posts: 503
Joined: Oct 23, 2008 3:53 am
Posted: Apr 20, 2009 9:44 pm
TDTAT:
LadyLucky:
"If you tell people where to go, but not how to get there, you'll be amazed at the results."— Gen. George Patton
"Appreciation can make a day — even change a life, Your willingness to put it into words is all that is necessary."— Margaret Cousins
"What would you attempt to do if you knew you would not fail?"— Dr. Robert Schuller
"Judge not lest ye be judged" Matthew 7
WOW! Those are good! 
They made it to Twitter! 
Thank You... Thank You!!
Treat her like a Thoroughbred and she won't be a NAG!!
TDTAT
Posts: 109275
Joined: Mar 11, 2006 7:06 pm
Posted: Apr 20, 2009 10:49 pm
LadyLucky, No Thank you
jovida
Posts: 869
Joined: May 01, 2006 5:13 pm
Posted: Apr 20, 2009 10:51 pm
"Doctor! Doctor! I feel like a bridge!"
"What's come over you?"
"Doctor! Doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains!"
"Pull yourself together!"
Why did Santa's little helper feel depressed?
He had low elf esteem
What's considered bi-sexual in Alabama?
Someone who likes sheep and goats
How do you piss off a female archeologist?
Give her a used tampon and ask her what period it came from
Did you hear that the governor's mansion in Montgomery, Alabama burned down?
Yep. Pert' near took out the whole trailer park.
Why does O. J. Simpson want to move to Alabama?
Everyone has the same DNA
jovida
Posts: 869
Joined: May 01, 2006 5:13 pm
Posted: Apr 20, 2009 10:52 pm
Confucius Says...
"Man who lose key to girlfriend's apartment get no new key"
"Man who fart in church must sit in own pew"
"Man who walk thru airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok"
"Passionate kiss like spider's web, soon lead to undoing of fly"
"Virginity like bubble, one prick all gone"
"Man who stand in front of car get tired."
"Man who stand behind car get exhausted."
"Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day"
"Foolish man give wife grand piano. Wise man give wife upright organ."
"Man who buy many prunes get good run for money"
"Baseball is wrong, man with four balls cannot walk"
"Panties not best thing on earth, but next to best thing on earth"
"War doesn't determine who is right. War determines who is left."
"Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cathouse"
"It take many nails to build crib but one screw to fill it"
"Man who drive like hell bound to get there"
"Man who fishes in other man's well often catches crabs"
"Man who masturbate into cash register soon come into money"
"Man who drop watch in toilet have shitty time"
"Man trapped in pantry have ass in jam"
"Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night"
"Man who stand on toilet is high on pot"
jovida
Posts: 869
Joined: May 01, 2006 5:13 pm
Posted: Apr 20, 2009 11:00 pm
I bet you I could stop gambling.
I had to read this twice to get it! LOL
jovida
Posts: 869
Joined: May 01, 2006 5:13 pm
Posted: Apr 20, 2009 11:19 pm
A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it.
The thief was spending less than his wife did
TDTAT
Posts: 109275
Joined: Mar 11, 2006 7:06 pm
Posted: Apr 21, 2009 12:19 am
You may be stronger, faster, prettier, funnier, cooler and smarter than me, but you can never out work me.
LadyLucky
Posts: 503
Joined: Oct 23, 2008 3:53 am
Posted: Apr 21, 2009 2:45 am
TDTAT:
LadyLucky, No Thank you
Treat her like a Thoroughbred and she won't be a NAG!!
TDTAT
Posts: 109275
Joined: Mar 11, 2006 7:06 pm
Posted: Apr 21, 2009 2:47 am
LadyLucky, Oh lord, don't let voodo see that!
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