CLOSED $29 Cash to win! Something FunNy Contest #3

Anyone else have anything funny to add????

THE TEA PARTY

When I was a toddler, someone had given me a little Tea Set as a gift, and it was one of my favorite toys.

Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when I brought him a little cup of "tea" which was just water, of course.

After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my Mom came home. My Dad made her wait in the living room to watch his little Princess bring him a cup of tea, because it was, "Just the cutest thing!"

My Mom waited, and sure enough, here I come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy.

She watches him drink it up and then says, "Did it ever occur to you that the only place that a toddler can reach to get water is the toilet?"

FEMALE PRAYER
Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man, who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong,
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks
I pray he's gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man, who'll make love to my mind,
Knows what to answer to "How big is my behind?"
I pray that this man will love me no end,
And never attempt to hit on my friend.
And as I pray beside my bed,
I look at the clown you sent me instead.
Amen.

MALE PRAYER
I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge boobs
who owns a liquor store. Amen.

here for you tawnia

A cow-boy in New York
a cow-boy sees in New York machines with under whom gives information on a paper. He puts a part, goes up on the machine and reads on paper: You are called John Bill, you measure 1,85 m, you weigh 105 kg, you are 43 years old and you must travel by the train of 8 a.m. 47. Astonished, it exclaims: All is right! A young Indian presents himself and goes up on the machine, which indicates to him: You are Cherokee, you measure 1,65 m, you weigh 60 kg and you must travel by the bus of 10 a.m. 20. Surprised, the two men exchange hats, wind-breakers, boots and moccasins before testing again. John Bill gives a part and reads on paper: You are always called John Bill, you always measure 1,85 m, you always weigh 105 kg and you are always 43 years old; but if you continue to make the imbecile, you will miss the train by 8h47!


convoy of betail


Two cow-boys who convoyaient cattle in the plains of the West distinguish the silhouette from an Indian laid down on the ground. It approach and see finally that Comanche is flat belly, the ear stuck against the ground. The cow-boys stop and the first known as with the second: - You see this Indian, it is listening to the vibrations of the ground. It is able to determine if a rider or an attachment arrives and with which distance it is. At this time there, the Indian turns the head and known as: - covered, with two miles, full Carriage southern. Two horses, a brown bai and a chestnut horse. A man, a woman, two children with businesses in carriage. - Incredible! in heart the cow-boys exclaim. This Indian is all bonnement incredible. It is époustouflant! How does it arrive at connaìtre as many details??? Then the Indian turns the head and fact again: - Carriage to roll on me half an hour ago...


The following history is veracious. Those which want to check can address to the department maritime Businesses Canadian. The incident occurred in October 1995.
Transcription of a radio communication enters a boat of US Navy and the Canadian authorities to broad of Newfoundland:
- Americans: Please divert itself of 15 North degrees to avoid a collision. With you.
- Canadians: Please rather divert you of 15 Southern degrees to avoid a collision. With you.
- Americans: Here, the captain of a ship of the American naval forces. I repeat: please modify your race. With you.
- Canadians: Not, please divert itself, I request from you. With you.
- Americans: Here, it is aircraft carrier USS Lincoln, the second ship in power of the naval fleet of the United States of America. We are accompanied by three destroyers, three cruisers and a significant number of ships of escort. I ask you to deviate of your road of 15 degrees North or from constraining measurements will be taken to ensure the safety of our ship. With you.
- Canadians: here, it is a headlight. With you.

somethin' to laugh about? hahahahaha

Congrats donna47, WTG !

m8ryann:
somethin' to laugh about? hahahahaha

O~~~M~~~G

donna47

Congrats donna47 and Good Luck

WTG donna47

CONGRATS DONNA47 WAY TO GO SIS! HAVE SOME FUN!

THANKS EVERYONE AND THANKS FOR THE CONTEST!!