CLOSED | Best One Liner Jokes | Free Joke Contest | $30
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Closed- winner announced
treyrayd
Posts: 319
Joined: Jun 29, 2005 6:43 am
Posted: May 16, 2009 2:48 pm
A GUY PICKED UP A BOX OF CONDOMS AT THE PHARMACY, AND WENT TO THE COUNTER AND ASKED WHERE THE FITTING ROOM WAS
ashley85
Posts: 142
Joined: May 02, 2009 9:22 am
Posted: May 16, 2009 4:30 pm
1. Why are women like parking spaces ?
Because all the best ones are taken....and the rest are handicapped.
2. A very fat woman comes into a store and tells the clerk,
"I would like to see a bikini that fits me."
Clerk, "me too..."
3. WHICH DO YOU THINK WOULD TOUCH THE GROUND FIRST ON TOP OF A BUILDING FIRST?-THERES A BLONDE OR A JEW.
"A jew because the blonde has to stop and ask for directions.
4. Why did the blonde get on the roof of the bar??
She heard drinks were on the house
5. Why does a blonde only change her baby's diapers once a month?
Because it says right on the box, "good for up to 20 pounds."
6. What did the blonde say when she found she was pregnant?
"Is it mine?"
Because all the best ones are taken....and the rest are handicapped.
2. A very fat woman comes into a store and tells the clerk,
"I would like to see a bikini that fits me."
Clerk, "me too..."
3. WHICH DO YOU THINK WOULD TOUCH THE GROUND FIRST ON TOP OF A BUILDING FIRST?-THERES A BLONDE OR A JEW.
"A jew because the blonde has to stop and ask for directions.
4. Why did the blonde get on the roof of the bar??
She heard drinks were on the house
5. Why does a blonde only change her baby's diapers once a month?
Because it says right on the box, "good for up to 20 pounds."
6. What did the blonde say when she found she was pregnant?
"Is it mine?"
slamdoggie
Posts: 422
Joined: Jul 21, 2006 12:39 am
Posted: May 17, 2009 8:40 pm
How do you get a man to stop biting his nails?
Make him wear shoes.
How does a man show he's planning for the future?
He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened by the time she brings it to the couch.
What did God say after creating man?
I can do so much better
Make him wear shoes.
How does a man show he's planning for the future?
He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened by the time she brings it to the couch.
What did God say after creating man?
I can do so much better
slamdoggie
Posts: 422
Joined: Jul 21, 2006 12:39 am
Posted: May 17, 2009 8:42 pm
Why does it take 100 million sperms to fertilize one egg?
Because not one will stop and ask for directions.
What do you call a man with half a brain?
Gifted.
Because not one will stop and ask for directions.
What do you call a man with half a brain?
Gifted.
voodookitty
Posts: 4435
Joined: Mar 06, 2006 3:04 am
Posted: May 17, 2009 10:03 pm
4 potatoes
Q: If there were 4 potatoes in a room, which one would be the prostitute?
A: The one that's labeled "IDAHO"
Q: If there were 4 potatoes in a room, which one would be the prostitute?
A: The one that's labeled "IDAHO"
queenmap
Posts: 1752
Joined: Oct 24, 2007 5:39 pm
Posted: May 17, 2009 10:59 pm
What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
The position of the dirt bag
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan
The position of the dirt bag
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan
voodookitty
Posts: 4435
Joined: Mar 06, 2006 3:04 am
Posted: May 18, 2009 2:00 am
*Q: What's the fluid capacity of Monica Lewinsky's mouth?
A: 1 U.S. leader
*If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
*If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
*Q: How do you play Taliban bingo?
A: B-52... F-16... B-1... F-18... B-2
*A husband was asked: Do u talk to wife after sex?
His answer: Depends, if I can find a phone
*Q. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in the other hand, what would you have?
A. Very large hands.
A: 1 U.S. leader
*If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
*If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
*Q: How do you play Taliban bingo?
A: B-52... F-16... B-1... F-18... B-2
*A husband was asked: Do u talk to wife after sex?
His answer: Depends, if I can find a phone
*Q. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in the other hand, what would you have?
A. Very large hands.
TDTAT
Posts: 109276
Joined: Mar 11, 2006 7:06 pm
Posted: May 18, 2009 10:27 am
FUNNY!!! 
gxrgirl
Posts: 131
Joined: Aug 30, 2007 2:30 am
Posted: May 19, 2009 1:08 am
was there a winner declared?
TDTAT
Posts: 109276
Joined: Mar 11, 2006 7:06 pm
Posted: May 19, 2009 1:28 am
was there a winner declared?
Not yet... check back tomorrow
slamdoggie
Posts: 422
Joined: Jul 21, 2006 12:39 am
Posted: May 19, 2009 2:04 am
Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left him.
What's brown and sticky? A stick.
What's brown and sticky? A stick.
slamdoggie
Posts: 422
Joined: Jul 21, 2006 12:39 am
Posted: May 19, 2009 2:07 am
How do you confuse an archaeologist?
Give 'em a used tampon and ask which period it's from.
hope this doesn't offend anyone I thought it was funny
Give 'em a used tampon and ask which period it's from.
hope this doesn't offend anyone I thought it was funny
TDTAT
Posts: 109276
Joined: Mar 11, 2006 7:06 pm
Posted: May 19, 2009 2:41 pm
All the jokes were great! Congrats to our winner> slamdoggie
slamdoggie
Posts: 422
Joined: Jul 21, 2006 12:39 am
Posted: May 19, 2009 2:49 pm
woohoo thanx so very much
ashley85
Posts: 142
Joined: May 02, 2009 9:22 am
Posted: May 19, 2009 3:10 pm
CONGRATS SLAM !!!! GL With Your WINNINGS !!!