Keep up the great listings!! and remember to wear your helmet but don't drool too much, or the headbanger on the back of the bus might slip....
CLOSED April Fools Day Contest | Free Contest | 1 Day only
Welcome to the NoLuckNeeded.com Contest Corner! We give away hundreds of dollars, euros, and pounds every month and all you have to do to participate is post a message in the contest threads below. Don't be shy, we're friendly! If you are not a member, join today for free.
Closed- $30 winner: treyrayd
qtip7397
Posts: 18
Joined: Apr 01, 2009 5:38 pm
Posted: Apr 01, 2009 9:10 pm
I Lick Windows on the Short Bus
Keep up the great listings!! and remember to wear your helmet but don't drool too much, or the headbanger on the back of the bus might slip....
Keep up the great listings!! and remember to wear your helmet but don't drool too much, or the headbanger on the back of the bus might slip....
qtip7397
I Lick Windows on the Short Bus
TDTAT
Posts: 109270
Joined: Mar 11, 2006 7:06 pm
Posted: Apr 01, 2009 9:20 pm
qtip7397, Welcome to noluckneeded!!! 
DEB123
Posts: 1222
Joined: Jun 11, 2006 1:57 am
Posted: Apr 01, 2009 9:31 pm
A Story About Getting Even
One December day we found an old straggly cat at our door.
She was a sorry sight. Starving, dirty, smelled terrible,
skinny, and hair all matted down. We felt sorry for her so
we put her in a carrier and took her to the vet.
We didn't know what to call her so we named her
'Pussycat.'
The vet decided to keep her for a day or so. He said he
would let us know when we could come and get her. My
husband (the complainer) said, 'OK, but don't forget to
wash her, she stinks.' He reminded the vet that it was his
WIFE (me) that wanted the dirty cat, not him.
My husband and my Vet don't see eye to eye. The vet
calls my husband 'El-Cheap-O', and my husband calls the
vet 'El-Charge-O'.? They love to hate each other and
constantly 'snipe' at one another, with my husband getting in
the last word on this particular occasion.
The next day my husband had an appointment with his doctor,
who is located in the same building, next door to the vet.
The MD's waiting room and office was full of people
waiting to see the doctor.
A side door opened and the vet leaned in - he had obviously
seen my Husband arrive. He looked straight at my husband
and in a loud voice said, 'Your wife's pussy doesn't stink any
more. We washed and shaved it, and now she smells like a
rose. Oh, and, by the way, I think she's pregnant. God
only knows who the father is!' Then he closed the door.
Now THAT, my friends, is getting even!
One December day we found an old straggly cat at our door.
She was a sorry sight. Starving, dirty, smelled terrible,
skinny, and hair all matted down. We felt sorry for her so
we put her in a carrier and took her to the vet.
We didn't know what to call her so we named her
'Pussycat.'
The vet decided to keep her for a day or so. He said he
would let us know when we could come and get her. My
husband (the complainer) said, 'OK, but don't forget to
wash her, she stinks.' He reminded the vet that it was his
WIFE (me) that wanted the dirty cat, not him.
My husband and my Vet don't see eye to eye. The vet
calls my husband 'El-Cheap-O', and my husband calls the
vet 'El-Charge-O'.? They love to hate each other and
constantly 'snipe' at one another, with my husband getting in
the last word on this particular occasion.
The next day my husband had an appointment with his doctor,
who is located in the same building, next door to the vet.
The MD's waiting room and office was full of people
waiting to see the doctor.
A side door opened and the vet leaned in - he had obviously
seen my Husband arrive. He looked straight at my husband
and in a loud voice said, 'Your wife's pussy doesn't stink any
more. We washed and shaved it, and now she smells like a
rose. Oh, and, by the way, I think she's pregnant. God
only knows who the father is!' Then he closed the door.
Now THAT, my friends, is getting even!
lafouine
Posts: 69
Joined: Aug 24, 2006 12:04 pm
Posted: Apr 01, 2009 10:46 pm
http://www.apiguide.net/images/bird.swf
LadyLucky
Posts: 503
Joined: Oct 23, 2008 3:53 am
Posted: Apr 01, 2009 10:48 pm
So many funny posts.... I will stick with Three of my favorite little critters...So many funny posts.... I will stick with Three of my favorite little critters... because they always make me laugh!
Treat her like a Thoroughbred and she won't be a NAG!!
michael1
Posts: 625
Joined: Feb 04, 2007 12:43 pm
Posted: Apr 01, 2009 10:53 pm
cool contest 
sanaj49
Posts: 478
Joined: Jun 22, 2006 11:20 pm
Posted: Apr 01, 2009 11:26 pm
rukus
Posts: 66
Joined: Apr 10, 2007 4:21 am
Posted: Apr 02, 2009 12:11 am
Tide cant get the dirt out i get into
codyman
Posts: 1450
Joined: Mar 16, 2006 11:56 am
Posted: Apr 02, 2009 12:47 am
Kind of a april fools on the police 
HOW TO CALL THE POLICE
WHEN YOU'RE OLD
AND DON'T MOVE FAST ANYMORE.
George Phillips , an elderly man, from Meridian, Mississippi, was going up to bed, when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. George opened the back door to go turn off the light, but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things.
He phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?"
He said "No," but some people are breaking into my garden shed and stealing from me.
Then the police dispatcher said "All patrols are busy. You should lock your doors and an officer will be along when one is available."
George said, "Okay."
He hung up the phone and counted to 30.
Then he phoned the police again.
"Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people stealing things from my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now because I just shot them." and he hung up.
Within five minutes, six Police Cars, a SWAT Team, a Helicopter, two Fire Trucks, a Paramedic, and an Ambulance showed up at the Phillips' residence, and caught the burglars red-handed.
One of the Policemen said to George, "I thought you said that you'd shot them!"
George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"
HOW TO CALL THE POLICE
WHEN YOU'RE OLD
AND DON'T MOVE FAST ANYMORE.
George Phillips , an elderly man, from Meridian, Mississippi, was going up to bed, when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. George opened the back door to go turn off the light, but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things.
He phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?"
He said "No," but some people are breaking into my garden shed and stealing from me.
Then the police dispatcher said "All patrols are busy. You should lock your doors and an officer will be along when one is available."
George said, "Okay."
He hung up the phone and counted to 30.
Then he phoned the police again.
"Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people stealing things from my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now because I just shot them." and he hung up.
Within five minutes, six Police Cars, a SWAT Team, a Helicopter, two Fire Trucks, a Paramedic, and an Ambulance showed up at the Phillips' residence, and caught the burglars red-handed.
One of the Policemen said to George, "I thought you said that you'd shot them!"
George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"
Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers
PegeeSue
Posts: 293
Joined: May 12, 2006 3:46 am
Posted: Apr 02, 2009 1:15 am
My husband decided to give me a lap dance one evening when he got out of the shower. Our patio doors face the couch. My daughter comes home in a cab and the cabbie had to come to the door for money...he saw my husband and was totally speechless he was laughing so hard..did we pay him??..no..he laughed and said it was the best "caught in the act" he's ever witnessed...lmao
TDTAT
Posts: 109270
Joined: Mar 11, 2006 7:06 pm
Posted: Apr 02, 2009 1:45 am
PegeeSue, LOL!!!!!!!! Is that a true story or a joke?
barbque73
Posts: 193
Joined: Oct 16, 2006 3:40 pm
Posted: Apr 02, 2009 1:54 am
These are all funny! At least to me. Thanx for the Contest! treyrayd
Posts: 319
Joined: Jun 29, 2005 6:43 am
Posted: Apr 02, 2009 2:14 am
I GAMBLED ALL MY WIFES MONEY AWAY......AND SHE WANTS A DIVORCE ...JUST DOESNT MAKE SENSE
opeth
Posts: 873
Joined: Aug 22, 2006 8:49 pm
Posted: Apr 02, 2009 3:07 am
What do you get if you have mono twice??
A stereo
A stereo
vickster22
Posts: 222
Joined: Feb 19, 2007 8:10 pm
Posted: Apr 02, 2009 3:24 am
I was looking on line this morning to buy a new car and there was an add for a nice car cheap and at the bottom of the ad it said!! THIS IS MY TEACHER CAR THAT I AM SELLING AND IT IS AN APRIL FOOLS JOKE, SO DONT TELL HIM WHEN YOU CALL ABOUT THE VEHICLE.