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Closed- $30 winner: treyrayd
Bass4BW
Posts: 439
Joined: Nov 20, 2007 3:52 am
Posted: Apr 01, 2009 6:28 pm
RGALP, My wife has that boss, That was so funny, I had to send it along to her. Good one
Brendan77
Posts: 237
Joined: Apr 17, 2006 1:01 am
Posted: Apr 01, 2009 6:40 pm
This makes me think of my 4yr old son who is so smart its actually funny at times, reminds me of a grown man in a little person's body!
In PE class they have been learning about the human body and bones. So I asked him to tell me everything he has learned and he goes on to say...
"your head is the 'skull', in your neck is the 'neck vertebrae', you have a 'funny bone' in your elbow, fingers are 'phalanges', you have some 'ribs' in your belly, and if your a boy you have 'biscuits' in your pants!
Of course I started cracking up....only from the mouths of babes!!!
In PE class they have been learning about the human body and bones. So I asked him to tell me everything he has learned and he goes on to say...
"your head is the 'skull', in your neck is the 'neck vertebrae', you have a 'funny bone' in your elbow, fingers are 'phalanges', you have some 'ribs' in your belly, and if your a boy you have 'biscuits' in your pants!
Of course I started cracking up....only from the mouths of babes!!!
playerslot
Posts: 157
Joined: Apr 25, 2006 12:28 am
Posted: Apr 01, 2009 6:41 pm
Kraziegurl
Posts: 725
Joined: Oct 11, 2007 10:47 am
Posted: Apr 01, 2009 6:50 pm
I have a few Simpsons quotes that I think it's hilarious:
Homer: Marge? Since I'm not talking to Lisa, would you please ask her to pass me the syrup?
Marge: Dear, please pass your father the syrup, Lisa.
Lisa: Bart, tell Dad I will only pass the syrup if it won't be used on any meat product.
Bart: You dunkin' your sausages in that syrup homeboy?
Homer: Marge, tell Bart I just want to drink a nice glass of syrup like I do every morning.
Marge: Tell him yourself, you're ignoring Lisa, not Bart.
Homer: Bart, thank your mother for pointing that out.
Marge: Homer, you're not not-talking to me and secondly I heard what you said.
Homer: Lisa, tell your mother to get off my case.
Bart: Uhhh, dad, Lisa's the one you're not talking to.
Homer: Bart, go to your room.
Homer: How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?
Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Ham?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Pork chops?
Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal.
Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.
Homer: Marge? Since I'm not talking to Lisa, would you please ask her to pass me the syrup?
Marge: Dear, please pass your father the syrup, Lisa.
Lisa: Bart, tell Dad I will only pass the syrup if it won't be used on any meat product.
Bart: You dunkin' your sausages in that syrup homeboy?
Homer: Marge, tell Bart I just want to drink a nice glass of syrup like I do every morning.
Marge: Tell him yourself, you're ignoring Lisa, not Bart.
Homer: Bart, thank your mother for pointing that out.
Marge: Homer, you're not not-talking to me and secondly I heard what you said.
Homer: Lisa, tell your mother to get off my case.
Bart: Uhhh, dad, Lisa's the one you're not talking to.
Homer: Bart, go to your room.
Homer: How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?
Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Ham?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Pork chops?
Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal.
Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.
brunett
Posts: 1487
Joined: Oct 04, 2004 11:39 am
Posted: Apr 01, 2009 7:00 pm
its i joke lol right
yes my 2 daughters i love them very much
xxPATTYxx
Posts: 378
Joined: Mar 29, 2008 2:24 pm
Posted: Apr 01, 2009 7:03 pm
You think they are sooooooooo grown up...
When my daughter was 13, and we were on our way home from school clothes shopping. Conversation was about cleaning out our closets "old" stuff, what we never wear, etc. to donate to Charity.
I was telling her about some jeans I had never wore because they were a present, WAY TOO BIG, & not my style, and how they were definately going in the donate box.
She looked at me, with sweetest smile you have ever seen and said," DON'T WORRY MAMA YOU"LL GROW INTO THEM!"
ROFLMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO 
When my daughter was 13, and we were on our way home from school clothes shopping. Conversation was about cleaning out our closets "old" stuff, what we never wear, etc. to donate to Charity.
I was telling her about some jeans I had never wore because they were a present, WAY TOO BIG, & not my style, and how they were definately going in the donate box.
She looked at me, with sweetest smile you have ever seen and said," DON'T WORRY MAMA YOU"LL GROW INTO THEM!"
ROFLMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
......whoopsie....
RGALP
Posts: 5577
Joined: May 03, 2006 8:41 am
Posted: Apr 01, 2009 7:20 pm
RGALP, My wife has that boss, That was so funny, I had to send it along to her. Good one
I'm glad you enjoyed it, and as they say, "what comes around goes around".
So maybe there is justice for "jerks" like that.....LOL
slamdoggie
Posts: 422
Joined: Jul 21, 2006 12:39 am
Posted: Apr 01, 2009 7:39 pm
when my 4th son was 5 i woke up to him messing around in the bathroom.
asking him what he was doing in the bathroom he jumped out in the hall-
way in front of me yelling ' Look mom I got the boo bandaides' having
my mini pads stuck all over his belly!
asking him what he was doing in the bathroom he jumped out in the hall-
way in front of me yelling ' Look mom I got the boo bandaides' having
my mini pads stuck all over his belly!
jackie1028
Posts: 212
Joined: Feb 14, 2009 12:37 am
Posted: Apr 01, 2009 7:43 pm
Teacher: Can you name all the Presidents?
Little Boy: I thought they already had names.
Little Boy: I thought they already had names.
oldtimer
Posts: 234
Joined: Jul 26, 2008 3:55 pm
Posted: Apr 01, 2009 7:45 pm
im in please queenmap
Posts: 1752
Joined: Oct 24, 2007 5:39 pm
Posted: Apr 01, 2009 7:58 pm
A blondes flight to Chicago.
A commercial airplane is in flight to Chicago, when a blonde woman sitting in economy gets up and moves to an open seat in the first class section. A flight attendant watches her do this, and politely informs the woman that she must return to her seat in the economy class because that’s the type of ticket she paid for.
The blonde woman replies, “I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, I’m going to Chicago and I’m staying right here.”
After repeated attempts and no success convicing the woman to return to economy, the flight attendant goes into the cockpit and informs the pilot and co-pilot that there’s a blonde bimbo sitting in first class who refuses to go back to her proper seat.
The co-pilot goes back to the woman and explains why she needs to move, but once again the woman replies by saying, “I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, I’m going to Chicago and I’m staying right here.”
The co-pilot returns to the cockpit and suggests that perhaps they should have the arrival gate call the police and have the woman arrested when they land. The pilot says, “You say she’s blonde? I’ll handle this. I’m married to a blonde. I speak blonde.” He kneels down next to the woman and whispers quietly in her ear, and she says, “Oh, I’m sorry,” then quickly moves back to her seat in economy class.
The flight attendant and co-pilot are amazed and ask him what he said to get her to move back to economy without causing any fuss.
“I told her first class isn’t going to Chicago.”
A commercial airplane is in flight to Chicago, when a blonde woman sitting in economy gets up and moves to an open seat in the first class section. A flight attendant watches her do this, and politely informs the woman that she must return to her seat in the economy class because that’s the type of ticket she paid for.
The blonde woman replies, “I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, I’m going to Chicago and I’m staying right here.”
After repeated attempts and no success convicing the woman to return to economy, the flight attendant goes into the cockpit and informs the pilot and co-pilot that there’s a blonde bimbo sitting in first class who refuses to go back to her proper seat.
The co-pilot goes back to the woman and explains why she needs to move, but once again the woman replies by saying, “I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, I’m going to Chicago and I’m staying right here.”
The co-pilot returns to the cockpit and suggests that perhaps they should have the arrival gate call the police and have the woman arrested when they land. The pilot says, “You say she’s blonde? I’ll handle this. I’m married to a blonde. I speak blonde.” He kneels down next to the woman and whispers quietly in her ear, and she says, “Oh, I’m sorry,” then quickly moves back to her seat in economy class.
The flight attendant and co-pilot are amazed and ask him what he said to get her to move back to economy without causing any fuss.
“I told her first class isn’t going to Chicago.”
ldyhaythe
Posts: 844
Joined: Jan 03, 2006 2:57 am
Posted: Apr 01, 2009 8:15 pm
Some not too smart gangsters decide to rob a bank. After several days of planning they agree on the best plan. The next day they get to work and are able to get into the bank relatively easy thanks to their planning. Once inside the main vault they discover one wall is full of safety deposit boxes and start to work on them immediately. They drill and pry open the first box only to find a small container of vanilla pudding inside.
The Head Gangster says, "Okay, well, at least we can eat it." So they eat the pudding. They drill and pry open up the second safety deposit box and there sits another pudding. They decide to devour it too.
Determined to find the goods, the process continues for the rest of the night until all the safety deposit boxes have been opened. They didn't find any money or jewelry in any of the boxes. Disappointed the head gangster said, "Well, at least they left something for us to eat."
The next day, while listening to the news they hear:"Yesterday the largest SPERM bank in the USA was robbed by an unknown group of people....."
The Head Gangster says, "Okay, well, at least we can eat it." So they eat the pudding. They drill and pry open up the second safety deposit box and there sits another pudding. They decide to devour it too.
Determined to find the goods, the process continues for the rest of the night until all the safety deposit boxes have been opened. They didn't find any money or jewelry in any of the boxes. Disappointed the head gangster said, "Well, at least they left something for us to eat."
The next day, while listening to the news they hear:"Yesterday the largest SPERM bank in the USA was robbed by an unknown group of people....."
falcon69
Posts: 243
Joined: Feb 04, 2006 8:04 am
Posted: Apr 01, 2009 8:15 pm
Ha!Ha! The jokes on us-this is not really a contest!!!
TDTAT
Posts: 109270
Joined: Mar 11, 2006 7:06 pm
Posted: Apr 01, 2009 8:23 pm
Ha!Ha! The jokes on us-this is not really a contest!!!
Wrong, it is real
I do not joke about money honey.
mylittle3s
Posts: 66
Joined: Jan 18, 2007 3:38 pm
Posted: Apr 01, 2009 8:54 pm
My oldest daughter was going thru potty training @ 2 years old, While out taking those needed breaks with my loving mother-in-law I heard her ask "Grandma...Why does your butt take up the whole seat an mine don't. I was ops: 
happy day e1
ops: happy day e1